寻找自己的路（2）
When the first week of classes started, I had the daunting task of trying to figure out where my classes were in this city they called a school. I was already exhausted by the overwhelming task of trying to park my car. Feeling awkward, out of place and in a world of logistical nightmares, studying and getting an education were the last things on my mind. But I put one foot in front of the other and prayed l would find some solace somewhere. And I did.
He walked into my life and into the huge auditorium that looked more like a movie theater than a classroom. But instead of taking a seat in the large lecture hall, he continued toward the front of the room to teach the class. He was smart and funny. I started to find any excuse to visit his office. This strange new world started to hold new meaning for me, and I began to explore it with more bravado2. That was the good news. The bad news was that I had a crush on a man who was twice my age, married and had a f***ly. But I felt helpless among all these new feelings and experiences I was having. Was this what becoming an adult meant? It all seemed too confusing.
I excelled in his class. One day he asked me if I wanted to help him grade papers, file and do some office work—a teacher’s aide of sorts. There was no need to ask me twice. As the weeks passed, we shared lots of time together. I learned how to drink coffee over long philosophical conversations. We became friends.
Much to my surprise, out of the blue, he asked me if 1 would consider doing some baby-sitting for him. I was getting an invitation to become part of his private world. I was given directions to his house and told to come by that Thursday.
I arrived at his house promptly at six. He greeted me at the door. “Thank you so much for doing this. It’s very important to me.” He explained that his wife was taking care of her ailing mother and had taken their eight-month-old baby with her. Lily, their six-year-old, needed special care, and he was hoping to find someone who would click with her.
“Lily has cystic fibrosis3 and spends too much of her little life in bed.” My heart just broke as I saw the love he had in his eyes for his little girl.
He took me into her room and, in the middle of a princess bed, sat this fair-haired little angel. She